Lies Preachers Tell #9

Jesus, like Jonah, was a false prophet. Jonah's prophecy against Nineveh was eight unequivocal words in length: "Yet forty days, and Nineveh shall be overthrown [Jonah 3:4e]." This overthrow did not occur, according to Jonah 3:10.

Jesus' prognostication concerning his own death and the sign it would provide was likewise false. Jesus said, "... as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale's belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth [Matthew 12:40]." Preachers, in covering for Jesus, repeat this lie.

In two thousand years of Christian scholarship, there is no record I'm aware of of anyone having said Jesus' stay in the tomb consisted of more or less than three days and three nights. This lie is, however, easily refuted by a quick glance at a calendar.

Jesus was, according to the gospels, crucified on a Friday: expired that evening at the earliest. Our modern calendars refer to this day as "Good Friday." None of the gospels record the precise moment of his egress from the tomb, but all four gospels agree that at sunrise of "the first day of the week, [et. al.]," Jesus was out of the tomb.

The amount of time from Friday evening to Sunday morning is not three days and three nights. It is two nights and one day. Can Christians not count to three-- at least once in two thousand years? Is the moral of this enduring lie that false prophecy is the sign of Jesus?

Lies Preachers Tell #7

Do preachers lie because they apprehend the Doctrine incorrectly? or do they lie because the lies they tell ensure the contributions to their 'ministry' will be as lucrative as a lie can make them? Do they lie because they know no other way of communicating? Do they lie because they don't believe in the Lord whose name they invoke over all they say and do? Perhaps they simply don't possess the common sense to know the truth, even when it slaps them with iron- fisted gauntlet across the cock- sucker.

Whatever or however the case may be, most preachers do lie, and each most likely for their own reasons in their own time. Those who don't lie are usually milk- sops pouring out 'doctrine' of sugar- water into congregations of cockroaches. Glory be; hallelujah; and pass the mustard gas.

One thing these Protestant preachers are ever- fond of doing is taking a thing spoken to Jews out- of- context to apply it to Gentiles. To a cockatrice-- and in the sensibilities of his 'fiery' baby snakes-- I suppose this seems 'egalitarian' in 'spirit.' In a word: it's likewise simply a lie. One such 'derailleur' which every thundering 'locomotive' of a preacher pushing Protestant 'trains' seems hell- bound to hit in just such a manner is expounded by Christ in his seminole 'sermon on the mount.'

In Matthew 7:1 (et. al.), Christ tells the Jews-- who judged him unclean and worthy of death-- "Judge not, that ye be not judged." He goes on, in verse 2, to describe the judgement they shall receive in response to so misjudging him-- as we know, in fact, they did: "For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye meet, it shall be measured to you again."

Now, a Protestant preacher will tell all who will listen that these verses apply-- not only to the Jews to whom they were addressed, but-- to all men everywhere, throughout all time. But all men are-- we hope-- not hypocrites. If all were hypocrites, everywhere, throughout all time: the Protestant preachers would be justified in laying this finger on us all. Clearly, however, this would be the only set of circumstances which would justify the judgmental mentality and preaching of Protestant preachers. I say this much is clear, in light of the text itself.

Verse 5 of Matthew 7 reads: "Thou hypocrite [there's the target], first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye." In Paul's somewhat simpler 'tongue,' this means: "For if we would judge ourselves, we should not be judged [1 Corinthians 11:31]." In the words of the rock 'n' roll prophets: "Before you accuse me, take a look at yourself."

.As to the hypocrisy Jesus takes aim at in the first five verses of Matthew 7, perhaps an anecdote will best serve. I was collecting recyclables on my bicycle, with my backpack-- containing all my worldly possessions-- on my back, and a Protestant preacher exited a church along my route to give me a ten- dollar bill. Being subtle, he said something about "a pack of cigarettes." I thanked him, and expressed my chagrin that so many 'holy Joes' only judge one who smokes unworthy of any such beneficence. His response was to inform me-- in a scolding tone more appropriate when addressing an infant-- that I, as a Christian, should not be 'judgemental.' Therefore and thereby, this preacher 'judged' me as 'judgemental.' I later learned the reason he mentioned cigarettes was so he could judge me unworthy of further beneficences, upon discovering my 'vice.' Thus, in one short exchange, this preacher 'judged' me twice: once for being-- like him-- 'judgemental.'

Lies Preachers Tell #5

One of the most pernicious lies which I've heard from too many pulpits is so simple that no one ever utters it more than one way. It is exactly the same, word- for- word, every time I've heard it. It's as if it's written in some scripture which I don't have and have never seen-- because I have no idea where it comes from, but it's always exactly the same. This simple little fallacy is perhaps the most popular of preachers' lies: "We are all God's children."

This lie is not only contrary to sound doctrine: it is decidedly antichrist as well. It was, after all, none other than Christ who told the Jews of his day the "parable of the tares of the field," in which he describes a field of wheat sown with "good seed," which is to say weedless seed, in which it is later discovered that there are "tares" (which is to say weeds) among the wheat. The field hands who discover the weeds come to the householder they work for, and say, "Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares? He said unto them, An enemy hath done this." (Matthew 13:27 & 28)

Later, his disciples come to Jesus and say, "Declare unto us the parable of the tares of the field." Jesus then explains the parable thusly: "He that soweth the good seed is the Son of man; The field is the world; the good seed [the wheat] are the children of the kingdom; but the tares [the weeds] are the children of the wicked one; The enemy that sowed them is the devil... " (Matthew 13: 37- 39) Clearly, by this evidence alone, we are not all God's children. If we were, Cain would be God's child, as well, but the apostle John (in 1 John 3:12) rebuffs this notion with the following declaration: "...Cain, who was of that wicked one, and slew his brother."

Again, Christ told the Jews of his day, "Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it." (John 8:44) It's simply a lie-- and an antichristian lie, at that-- to say "We are all God's children."

Lies Preachers Tell #2

Probably the second- most- repeated lie told by preachers is: "When the children of Israel observed the first Passover, they had to put blood on the doorways of their houses so the angel of death would know which houses were theirs and would kill none of them."

Wrong answer.

Jeremiah 7:22 & 23 says of this, "I [God] spake not unto your fathers, nor commanded them in the day that I brought them out of the land of Egypt, concerning burnt offerings or sacrifices [meaning no blood of lambs, goats, or bullocks]: But this thing commanded I them, saying, Obey my voice, and I will be your God, and ye shall be my people: and walk ye in all the ways that I have commanded you, that it may be well unto you."

Why, then, do preachers say there had to be blood on the door? Because that's what Moses said was necessary, and preachers give more credence to Moses than to God: every time. Moses-- speaking always presumptively for God-- said (Exodus 12:7 & 13), "And they shall take of the blood [of the Passover sacrifice], and strike it on the two side posts and on the upper door post of the houses, wherein they shall eat it... And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are: and when I see the blood, I will pass over you, and the plague shall not be upon you to destroy you, when I smite the land of Egypt."

It's not germaine to this subject, perhaps, to wonder why Moses would deem it necessary to-- under cover of the power of darkness-- "sacrifice the abomination of the Egyptians before their eyes," (Exodus 8:26) but what is germaine is the recent existential knowledge all the children of Israel had with which to debunk this preposterous claim of Moses' that God couldn't properly identify the Israelites from the Egyptians without blood to help him in making this identification.

The children of Israel had seen the Lord demonstrate time and again (as he promised to do in Exodus 8:22 & 23) his ability to properly discern the Jews from the Egyptians; and likewise to differentiate the livestock of the Jews from the livestock of the Egyptians, as he said he would in Exodus 9:4 .

The Israelites didn't choke on the swarms of flies which corrupted the land of Egypt. Their livestock weren't afflicted with the grievous murrains which killed all the Egyptians' livestock. The Israelites and their livestock were spared the torment of the boils with blains that tortured man and beast of Egypt. They suffered no damage from the fiery hail that killed man and beast, flax and barley in the fields of Egypt. They weren't lost in the darkness which could be felt as the Egyptians were. Yet, they, like Cain, found bloodshed reasonable and practicable, though unprescribed by the God of the prophets.

So, who ordered the "bloodbath?" Amos gives two possibilities, though there may be more: "Have ye offered unto me [God] sacrifices and offerings in the wilderness forty years, O house of Israel? But ye have borne the tabernacle of your Moloch and Chiun your images, the star of your god, which ye made to yourselves." (Amos 5:25 & 26)

Lies Preachers Tell #1

Here's the lie I've heard most from preachers: "Jesus had to die to save you from the wages of your sins."

This is wrong.

Before Jesus was born, God said: "But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die. All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live." (Ezekiel 18:21 & 22)

This means that by the simple act of repentance -- minus any mention of confession-- the old ways of a man are forgotten. Thus, condemnation is forgotten. Things not mentioned don't come up in court proceedings. I offer this as the simplest explanation for why the thing the preacher says is false. There are many more such reasons.

Enoch, the seventh from Adam, (a long time before Jesus of Nazareth was born) "was translated that he should not see death; and was not found, because God had translated him." (Hebrews 11:5) Elijah was taken up in a chariot of fire, (2 Kings 2:11) unlike Moses who was put down in an unmarked grave. (Deuteronomy 34:5 & 6) The way to God was always available, as was the way to hell. Jesus didn't have to die to open those doors or pave those ways. They've always been extant.

What, then, should these preachers say? What is the way to God? Jesus is the way, but his cold- blooded murder through false witness and false accusation is not the way. Jesus' life is the way. How did he live? He said of himself, "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil." (Matthew 5:17)

If we are to live as he did, we should-- like he did-- fulfill the law and the prophets with the living sacrifice of our lives. How, then, is this life's work of fulfilling the law and the prophets accomplIshed? The answer, in a word, is: love. Christ said, (Matthew 22:37- 40) "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."

So did Christ die to save you from your sins? Hebrews 13:8 says, "Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever." What this means respective of the present subject is, John 8:58 and John 14:6 can be married, without either of them losing their meaning, and without a lie being told, thusly: "Jesus said unto them, Verily,verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." If he is the savior, he was the savior, and always will be the savior, according to Hebrews 13:8. Nothing about him changed at his death. God's esteem of his murderers, on the other hand, did.